Ah yes...the "Elvis of heavy metal" (yeah, I stole that from Bloom County...) Who other than Ozzy Osbourne conjures up images of teenagers hanging themselves, pigeons with their heads bitten off, alcoholic binges, etc....Now this guy goes WAY back, all the way back to when my cousin introduced me to heavy metal, which at the time my artificially-implanted Christian mores forbade me to ever listen to lest I lose my soul (haha, what a joke when you consider how many millions of people have been slaughtered in the name of that Jesus Christ bastard!) I didn't even know that Ozzy was the original lead singer of Black Sabbath for the longest time.

"Blizzard of Ozz"

1. "I Don't Know" (5:11)
2. "Crazy Train" (4:49)
3. "Goodbye to Romance" (5:32)
4. "Dee"--instrumental (0:50)
5. "Suicide Solution" (4:17)
6. "Mr. Crowley" (4:55)
7. "No Bone Movies" (3:53)
8. "Revelation (Mother Earth)" (6:10)
9. "Steal Away (the Night)" (3:28)

"Crazy Train" was the first Ozzy song I ever heard, some years after I first knew about the guy. To my chagrin (I wasn't even remotely a metal fan at the time) I quite liked it! "Classic" is the only way to describe this album; nothing the guy has done since has ever come close. "Suicide Solution", of course, is that song that got all those stupid parents worried about their teenage sons killing themselves (when in fact it's a song about alcoholism...listen to the words, goddammit!) And speaking of words, every time I listen to the song "I Don't Know", I can't help but change the lyrics: "People look to me and say, Hello Ozzy how are you today?"

Ozzy's band consisted of Randy Rhoads, who of course needs no introduction (did you know he used to play for Quiet Riot? Many, many years before Metal Health was even conceived, and nobody knew they existed except for a cult following in Japan? Well, now you do.) Bass & drums were performed respectively by Bob Daisley & Lee Kerslake, both of whom were former members of Uriah Heep, oddly enough. Although you'd never know it if you bought the 2002 remaster of this album, because Bob & Lee's parts were REMOVED and RERECORDED by two studio scabs!! (Oh alright, I'll be fair... Mike Bordin, being the very talented ex-drummer of Faith No More, isn't really a scab and deserves the money he got...as for Robert Trujillo, though, I've retracted anything remotely positive I said about him earlier, now that he has joined Metallica...more on him later.) Turns out that Bob & Lee NEVER GOT PAID any royalties, despite getting songwriting credits (which are still on the remaster, go figure); and Sharon Osbourne's obvious solution was to rerecord their parts, thus commiting an act of unholy desecration upon a legendary musical classic. (I'm positive it was Sharon's idea, not Ozzy's...I don't think Ozzy even remembers recording an album in 1980...)

And speaking of unholy desecrations...check out Pat Boone's version of "Crazy Train" on his In a Metal Mood album (which is the same exact arrangement as the theme song to the "Osbournes" MTv show, except it's not him singing.)

"Diary of a Madman"

1. "Over the Mountain" (4:32)
2. "Flying High Again" (4:44)
3. "You Can't Kill Rock and Roll" (7:00)
4. "Believer" (5:15)
5. "Little Dolls" (5:40)
6. "Tonight" (5:51)
7. "S.A.T.O." (4:08)
8. "Diary of a Madman" (6:14)

Some really good songs on this album -- "S.A.T.O.", in fact, remains my favorite Ozzy song. "Over the Mountain" and "Believer" are also excellent numbers, but I never could get into "Flying High Again" (despite the obvious pot reference.) Once again, original bass & drums were by Bob Daisley & Lee Kerslake, but not anymore... (see above.)

"Tribute" (live album)

1. "I Don't Know" (5:43)
2. "Crazy Train" (5:12)
3. "Believer" (5:10)
4. "Mr. Crowley" (5:37)
5. "Flying High Again" (4:27)
6. "Revelation (Mother Earth)" (5:59)
7. "Steal Away (the Night)" (8:02)
8. "Suicide Solution" (8:00)
9. "Iron Man" (2:51)
10. "Children of the Grave" (4:58)
11. "Paranoid" (3:02)
12. "Goodbye to Romance" (5:44)
13. "No Bone Movies" (4:08)
14. "Dee (studio outtakes)"--instrumental (4:23)

This album came out some years after Randy Rhodes went to the big guitar amplifier in the sky. I think it's a little heavy on the songs from the first album (it includes, well, all of them) and I would like to have heard more Sabbath covers, but oh well.

"L.A. Madness" (live bootleg; Long Beach Arena, Feb. '82)

1. "Over the Mountain" (5:52)
2. "Mr. Crowley" (5:21)
3. "Crazy Train" (5:36)
4. "Suicide Solution" (13:58)
5. "Revelation (Mother Earth)" (5:49)
6. "Steal Away (the Night)" (3:38)
7. "Goodbye to Romance" (5:55)
8. "Iron Man" (4:07)
9. "Children of the Grave" (4:49)
10. "Paranoid" (3:35)

The liners of this bootleg list it as being recorded in February 1982, with Brad Gillis on guitar. Obviously, one of those is wrong, as Randy wasn't killed until 3/19/82 (unless Ozzy went on tour with a different guitarist while Randy was still alive, but why would he do that??) Come to think, the solos sound a lot more Randy-ish than Gillis-ish, and I don't recall Ozzy ever playing any non-Sabbath material with Brad. I'll have to check into this and find out what's up...

Otherwise, this is an astounding-sounding bootleg, with a few fades between tracks but otherwise very professional. The song selection is very similar to Tribute, so its main draw is that it features Brad Gillis doing Ozzy solo material (which, as I said, has yet to be confirmed) which never was released on any official CD. There's an interesting bit of legalese on the back, which essentially boils down to, "We will pay the artists for this recording, but they have to contact us first." Except, there's no contact information ANYWHERE on the disc. So I guess that makes it legal, right? (Scoff.)

"Speak of the Devil" (live album)

1. "Symptom of the Universe" (5:41)
2. "Snowblind" (4:56)
3. "Black Sabbath" (6:04)
4. "Fairies Wear Boots" (6:33)
5. "War Pigs" (8:35)
6. "The Wizard" (4:43)
7. "N.I.B." (5:35)
8. "Sweet Leaf" (5:55)
9. "Never Say Die" (4:18)
10. "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" (5:34)
11. "Iron Man/Children of the Grave" (9:12)
12. "Paranoid" (3:10)

After Randy Rhoades died (good God, I can never remember how his name's really spelled), Ozzy couldn't bear to make another studio album right away, so he enlisted future Night Ranger guitarist Brad Gillis and made a bunch of live Sabbath songs. As expected, Ozzy isn't at his best here...although it's good to hear some tunes that aren't readily available live ("Symptom of the Universe", "Never Say Die", etc.) Rudy Sarzo (hey, another Quiet Riot guy!) does the bass here, and drums are performed by Tommy Aldridge (who later did a live tour with Whitesnake.)

Originally this CD was released with one track missing...the "remastered series" corrected that heinous error.

"Bark at the Moon"

1. "Bark at the Moon" (4:16)
2. "You're No Different" (5:01)
3. "Now You See It (Now You Don't)" (5:05)
4. "Rock 'N' Roll Rebel" (5:26)
5. "Centre of Eternity" (5:24)
6. "So Tired" (3:58)
7. "Slow Down" (4:19)
8. "Waiting for Darkness" (5:17)

An interesting mix on this album. The first four songs (or "side one", hearkening back to the days of crappy vinyl) I'm not impressed with -- "Bark at the Moon" is a good number, but the riff is quite derivative. The last four songs, especially "Centre of Eternity" and "Slow Down", are among the best stuff Ozzy has ever done; I even still get a kick out of the hilarious ballad "So Tired". Apparently the remastered version DOES contain "Spiders of the Night" (which I've got on the import crappy vinyl), but does NOT have "One Up the B-Side" (which was, well, the b-side of the "So Tired" single); doesn't that suck??

The guitarist here (and on the next album) is Jake E. Lee, who got kicked out of Ratt because he was too ugly. Keyboards are performed by Don Airey (Rainbow, Jethro Tull, Phenomena, etc.) The drummer in the "Bark at the Moon" video looks like Carmine Appice, but is it really him? I'm not positive...

"The Ultimate Sin"

1. "The Ultimate Sin" (3:44)
2. "Secret Loser" (4:09)
3. "Never Know Why" (4:28)
4. "Thank God for the Bomb" (3:54)
5. "Never" (4:19)
6. "Lightning Strikes" (5:14)
7. "Killer of Giants" (5:42)
8. "Fool Like You" (5:20)
9. "Shot in the Dark" (4:26)

More of a mainstream album, which got considerable airplay on KNAC over the summer of '86 -- I also got a chance to see Ozzy live on this tour (although I was far more interested in the opening act: Metallica), and I heard later that when Ozzy came onstage and screamed, "LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!", two drugged-out teenagers lept off the balcony to their deaths! Hey, it's not an Ozzy concert unless someone dies...

One thing I will say is that Ozzy really began to clean himself up by this time...he actually seemed energetic on stage, instead of aimlessly pacing back and forth like he did in the videos from Speak of the Devil. Some time around this time he also did a mean cover of Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze" on the Stairway to Heaven, Highway to Hell compilation.

"No Rest for the Wicked"

1. "Miracle Man" (3:44)
2. "Devil's Daughter" (5:14)
3. "Crazy Babies" (4:14)
4. "Breaking All the Rules" (5:11)
5. "Bloodbath in Paradise" (5:02)
6. "Fire in the Sky" (6:22)
7. "Tattooed Dancer" (3:52)
8. "Demon Alcohol" (4:27)
9. "Hero"--unlisted track (4:49)

Nothing too exciting about this one, which I enjoyed at first but it grew stale on me real fast. I suppose there's a couple good songs here ("Fire in the Sky" and "Tattooed Dancer" come to mind instantly), but the rest just don't thrill me. There was a special edition of this CD called "The Bible of Ozz", an outrageously expensive ltd. edition import that listed at around $100...one greedy record store clerk tried to sucker me into buying it, claiming it had the song "One Up the B-Side" on it, but of course HE LIED....the only extra track was called "The Liar" (see below.) Good thing I saved my money, eh? Oh yeah, the record store went out of business a few months later. I wonder why.

"Just Say Ozzy" (live)

1. "Miracle Man" (4:01)
2. "Bloodbath in Paradise" (5:00)
3. "Shot in the Dark" (5:33)
4. "Tattooed Dancer" (3:46)
5. "Sweet Leaf" (3:21)
6. "War Pigs" (8:23)

An EP of live tracks taken from the No Rest tour, featuring former Black Sabbath mate Geezer Butler on bass. Not so bad, really.

"No More Tears"

1. "Mr. Tinkertrain" (5:55)
2. "I Don't Want to Change the World" (4:05)
3. "Mama, I'm Coming Home" (4:11)
4. "Desire" (5:44)
5. "No More Tears" (7:23)
6. "S.I.N." (4:46)
7. "Hellraiser" (4:53)
8. "Time after Time" (4:20)
9. "Zombie Stomp" (6:13)
10. "A.V.H." (4:12)
11. "Road to Nowhere" (5:10)

This one came as sort of a surprise, with a more powerful, progressive sound than what I'd expected from Ozzy's waning days. Too many ballads though. "Hellraiser" was co-written with Motorhead's Lemmy, who recorded his own version on March or Die (and did a *much* better job, I might add.) Oh yeah, Ozzy promised that he was retiring from touring after this album...that was a lie, of course.

In fairness, though, I should share what I've learned about what caused the whole "No More Tours" nonesense, which comes from the "director's cut" version of VH1's Behind the Music. Apparently, in 1991, Sharon was told by a doctor that Ozzy had "a little bit of M.S." Sharon was so concerned for Ozzy's health, that she begged him to make this his last tour, and even though she didn't tell him why, of course Ozzy agreed. It wasn't until six months later, after the tour was over, that Sharon's father asked her, "Why did you make Ozzy stop touring? He's got a lot of money-making potential left in him!" So Sharon told him why, and Mr. Arden thought a minute and said, "Didn't you get a second opinion?"

"I never thought of that," Sharon said.

So Ozzy went to one the best of all M.S. doctors in America, who put him through a battery of tests, then sat him down and said, "Okay, I am only going to say this once. You do NOT have Multiple Sclerosis. It is NOT POSSIBLE to have 'a little bit of M.S.' It's like being a little bit pregnant. It's not possible, and you do NOT have it." (As it turned out, his M.S.-like symptoms were caused by a cracked vertebrae...and too much past drug use, of course. :)) So, in the space of a few seconds, Ozzy not only learned that he had been diagnosed with M.S. six months ago, and that's why he was quitting touring, but also that he never was sick in the first place. So now, you know.

(It's a shame they never show the "Director's Cut" version of the BTM episode anymore. It really is an interesting and enlightening story.)

"Mama I'm Coming Home" (single)

1. "Mama I'm Coming Home" (3:23)
2. "Don't Blame Me" (5:00)
3. "Ozzy on the Steve Wright Show" (8:56)

Just a single with an unreleased track that I bought for some reason. Nothing exciting, except to gloat about when more dedicated Ozzy fans see this. :-)

"Ozzmosis"

1. "Perry Mason" (5:53)
2. "I Just Want You" (4:56)
3. "Ghost Behind My Eyes" (5:11)
4. "Thunder Underground" (6:30)
5. "See You on the Other Side" (6:10)
6. "Tomorrow" (6:37)
7. "Denial" (5:12)
8. "My Little Man" (4:52)
9. "My Jekyll Doesn't Hide" (6:34)
10. "Old L.A. Tonight" (4:48)

Only reason I got this piece of crap was because it was $3.99, and I still don't think I got my money's worth. I guess I bought it more out of pity than anything else. And what the hell is that Ozzfest garbage he's promoting these days?? Who knows. Geezer Butler does the bass-work, once again, and here's something interesting -- Rick Wakeman (that Yes guy, of course) is credited on keyboards!

"The Ozzman Cometh" (2CD compilation)

disc one:
1. "Black Sabbath"--1970 Basement Tapes (9:25)
2. "War Pigs"--1970 Basement Tapes (8:15)
3. "Goodbye to Romance" (5:35)
4. "Crazy Train" (4:51)
5. "Mr. Crowley" (4:56)
6. "Over the Mountain" (4:32)
7. "Paranoid"--live w/ Randy Rhoads (2:53)
8. "Bark at the Moon" (4:16)
9. "Shot in the Dark" (4:16)
10. "Crazy Babies" (4:14)
11. "No More Tears"--edit (5:54)
12. "Mama, I'm Coming Home" (4:11)
13. "I Don't Want to Change the World"--live (4:00)
14. "I Just Want You" (4:56)
15. "Back on Earth" (5:00)

disc two:
1. "Fairies Wear Boots"--1970 Basement Tapes (6:55)
2. "Behind the Wall of Sleep"--1970 Basement Tapes (5:09)
3. "Interview with Ozzy 1988" (17:45)

Believe it or not, I actually considered buying the Japanese import for the two extra tracks...God only knows where my head is these days. Oh well, it's worth it if you can get it for $10.99 (like I did), not for the unreleased "Back on Earth" song (which sucks), but for the "basement tapes" demo recordings of four Black Sabbath songs, which are VERY different from the album versions! ("War Pigs" has completely different lyrics, and "Behind the Wall of Sleep" ends with a jazzy blues jam.)

"Two Up the B-Side" (custom 2CDR compilation)

This is an update of the customized One Up the B-Side bootleg I had here earlier, combining numerous tracks from mp3s, CDRs, and a few from my regular collection. Disc one covers all the b-sides & rare tracks from Ozzy's solo work, including a few that were probably good enough to appear on regular albums, but never did! (Esp. "One Up the B Side" and "Party with the Animals") Disc two features Ozzy appearing on songs by other artists, from Was Not Was to Coal Chamber. (The "duet" with Type O Negative got pushed onto disc one due to space issues.) On some of these, you can barely hear Ozzy's voice at all, such as "Vertical Man" and "It's Only Rock and Roll". And the people on Audiogalaxy seem to think that's Madonna singing on the remix of "Crazy Train", but I can tell you definitively that that's bloody not true!!

"Down to Earth" (CDR, mp3 source + "bonus" tracks)

1. "Gets Me Through" (5:07)
2. "Facing Hell" (4:26)
3. "Dreamer" (4:44)
4. "No Easy Way Out" (5:06)
5. "That I Never Had" (4:23)
6. "You Know...(Part 1)" (1:06)
7. "Junkie" (4:28)
8. "Running Out of Time" (5:05)
9. "Black Illusion" (4:21)
10. "Alive" (4:54)
11. "Can You Hear Them?" (4:58)
12. "Black Skies" (5:20)
13. "No Place for Angels" (3:27)
14. "Scary Dreams"--live, Black Sabbath reunion (6:42)

This new Ozzy CD created quite a dilemma. You see, after compiling that Two Up the B-Side thingy, I had inadvertently made myself an Ozzy Osbourne completist. And while the music on this CD is far too nu-metalish and derivative to invest more than a few bucks in a used copy, it's worse than that. Because there were two "bonus" tracks, "Black Skies" and "No Place for Angels", which only appear on the stupidly expensive Japanese import, AND there was no space on that bootleg I made to squeeze them in! So...what do I do? Well, it all worked out when bass player Robert Trujillo joined Metallica, and after downloading all of St. Anger, I felt strangely empty, and looked around in Trujillo's back catalog to see what else I could "morally" acquire. Hmm...Suicidal Tendencies? Nope, got 'em all, at least the ones Trujillo appeared on. Infectious Grooves? Ain't worth it. Ozzy Osbourne? Aha!! FIRE UP WINMX!!!

And here's something interesting...apparently, GOD SUPPORTS MY BOYCOTT OF METALLICA. No shit! Here's the thing...for the last several years, I've been desperately seeking out rare demos & stuff by Def Leppard, and by this point, had found them all except for two songs from their 1979 EP; well, I did have crappy 128k/s versions, but I knew I could do better, because I saw better versions out there. Except, with WinMX's shitty queue system, every time I ran across somebody sharing them, there were already 176 people in queue before me...and I swear on all that is holy, sometimes I would wait for DAYS to get to the front of the line, but invariably, either my ISP connection would drop or WinMX would reset itself, before I even got to 10th in line. But I still had the "incomplete" downloads in my folder, in case WinMX did a "Find Sources" search on its own. And, guess what...right in the middle of this download, all of a sudden, BOTH songs appeared on my list, 4TH AND 5TH IN LINE!!!! I had to cancel the Ozzy downloads in order to "clear a path" for them to get downloaded quickly, but hey! I can only assume that God, or whatever deity is out there, actually "smiled upon me" and awarded me with these rare Def Leppard tracks, as a gift for choosing the appropriate moral path. :) Yes, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Oh, and "Black Skies" turned out to be one of the best songs from this album, even though it was an outtake. And I also added "Scary Dreams", a cheap crappy bootleg recording of a "new" song from the Black Sabbath reunion, apparently the only song they wrote together before realizing it just wasn't gonna work. (I'm working on getting a better version of it, on a "genuine" Black Sabbath bootleg, but it's slow going.) As for future Ozzy CDs...well, it's gonna be interesting, now that Jason Newsted (yep, formerly of Metallica, and currently of Voi Vod, at least I think he's still part of that band) has replaced Trujillo in Ozzy's band! I'm thinking of forgiving him, though, and releasing him from the "sanctions". He's suffered enough.

And I do offer my apologies to Ozzy, Sharon, Zakk, and Mike Bordin (the former Faith No More drummer) for losing eight cents or however much royalties you would have gotten from this CD, if I'd actually bought it. Especially Sharon Osbourne -- I don't want HER on my case, good Lord no!!! (Actually, I think she's quite a funny character. Sure, she may have done some evil things, like replacing the bass & drums on Ozzy's first two albums to avoid paying royalties, and dumping Epic out of spite when they dropped Kelly's contract. But she's not an "artist", she's a "suit" -- and different standards apply here. And besides, on that episode of The Osbournes where she stuck her finger UP HER CUNT, and TRIED TO TOUCH HER DAUGHTER WITH IT...good Christ!! How can you NOT love someone that insane???)

on crappy vinyl:
• "Live E.P."
• "Bark at the Moon" -- import LP w/ "Spiders"

on video:
• "The Ultimate Ozzy" (taped off TV...missing a few songs)

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