Van Halen

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It took me a long time to get into Van Halen's music, since I wasn't into the party-all-night sound. I'm probably the only person in the world who prefers the Sammy Hagar lineup over the David Lee Roth era...

"Goldenwest Ballroom Live 1976" (CDR bootleg; 5/9/76, Norwalk, CA)

1. "On Fire" (2:35)
2. "Show Your Love (I'm the One)" (4:37)
3. "Last Child" (4:27)
4. "Tush" (3:05)
5. "The Rover" (6:19)
6. "Let's Get Rockin'" (3:11)
7. "Ice Cream Man" (5:12)
8. "Last Night"--early version of "Hang 'em High" (3:52)
9. "Eruption ('76 version)"--instrumental (3:09)
10. "We Die Young" (3:37)
11. "Somebody Get Me a Doctor" (4:46)
12. "Babe Don't Leave Me Alone" (4:14)
13. "Let Me Swim in Your Ocean" (1:40)
14. "She's the Woman" (3:24)

As many of you already know (and if you don't, you should) I have absolutely zero interest in obtaining live Van Halen bootlegs. They're a good band and all, but not worth following with a passion, if you know what I mean. Still...there was NO WAY I could resist getting this one, recorded while they were still a struggling cover band from Pasadena, as it contains QUITE a few cover songs, unreleased tracks, and songs that were still "work-in-progress." (To get the obligatory links out of the way: "Last Child" is by Aerosmith, "Tush" is a ZZ Top song, and "The Rover" is by Led Zeppelin.) And the sound? Well, at least it's soundboard...but not a very good one. The sound is a bit muffled and badly mixed, and contains quite a few dropouts and other errors (many of which are caused by the equipment, not the tape, as Dave keeps bitching about his microphone not working right, and Eddie's guitar totally disappears for half of one song.) Worst of all, nearly HALF the songs get cut off, including ALL of the unreleased ones!!!!! (At first I thought I had a defective copy, but after asking around, turns out all copies are like this.) Still, it's a significant piece of Van Halen history, and the band is clearly enjoying themselves to the max, fully unaware that they would all soon be on a rise to superstardom...

"Van Halen"

1. "Runnin' with the Devil" (3:32)
2. "Eruption"--instrumental (1:42)
3. "You Really Got Me" (2:37)
4. "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" (3:47)
5. "I'm the One" (3:44)
6. "Jamie's Cryin'" (3:30)
7. "Atomic Punk" (3:00)
8. "Feel Your Love Tonight" (3:40)
9. "Little Dreamer" (3:22)
10. "Ice Cream Man" (3:18)
11. "On Fire" (3:01)

The first time I heard this album I thought it was pure crap, but now I quite like it. ("You Really Got Me" still gets on my nerves, though.) "Runnin' with the Devil" earned the band the stigma of being one of those "Satanic" rock bands, which couldn't be further from the truth! Okay, they're not Bible-thumping Christians or anything, but still... "On Fire" has been covered by Wasted Youth; 4 Non Blondes does a HORRIBLE cover of "I'm the One" on the Airheads soundtrack.

"Van Halen II"

1. "You're No Good" (3:12)
2. "Dance the Night Away" (3:04)
3. "Somebody Get Me a Doctor" (2:51)
4. "Bottoms Up!" (3:04)
5. "Outta Love Again" (2:49)
6. "Light Up the Sky" (3:09)
7. "Spanish Fly"--instrumental (0:58)
8. "D.O.A." (4:07)
9. "Women in Love..." (4:05)
10. "Beautiful Girls" (3:55)

The first time I heard this album I thought it was pure crap...and still do. :) Okay, I'm only joking. "Light Up the Sky" and "Outta Love Again" are fine rockers, and I still find "Beautiful Girls" and "Dance the Night Away" enjoyable despite MASSIVE radio overplay. But what the hell is it with that Linda Ronstadt song?? I suppose they wanted to have a cover song on every album...

"Women and Children First"

1. "And the Cradle Will Rock..." (3:31)
2. "Everybody Wants Some!!" (5:05)
3. "Fools" (5:55)
4. "Romeo Delight" (4:19)
5. "Tora! Tora!"--instrumental (0:57)
6. "Loss of Control" (2:36)
7. "Take Your Whiskey Home" (3:09)
8. "Could This Be Magic?" (3:08)
9. "In a Simple Rhyme" (4:33)

The least accessible of Van Halen's albums, I think. For that reason I kinda like it. :) "Everybody Wants Some" is one of my faves from the DLR era (anyone else remember the claymation sequence from Better off Dead?), and "Fools" has a great, hard-driving bass riff.

"Fair Warning"

1. "Mean Streets" (4:55)
2. "'Dirty Movies'" (4:06)
3. "Sinner's Swing!" (3:08)
4. "Hear About it Later" (4:33)
5. "Unchained" (3:27)
6. "Push Comes to Shove" (3:48)
7. "So This is Love?" (3:05)
8. "Sunday Afternoon in the Park"--instrumental (2:00)
9. "One Foot out the Door" (1:56)

I heard many of these songs on MTv, a key factor in winning me over to the band's sound. "Unchained" is simply AWESOME, and "So This is Love" has a somewhat humorous boogie-woogie rhythm to it. I also got a kick out of the line "she looked so FUCKING cool" in "Sinner's Swing" (hey, I was sixteen at the time, ok?) "Mean Streets" has been covered (sort of) by Dream Theater.

"Diver Down"

1. "Where Have All the Good Times Gone!" (3:02)
2. "Hang 'Em High" (3:28)
3. "Cathedral"--instrumental (1:20)
4. "Secrets" (3:25)
5. "Intruder"--instrumental (1:39)
6. "(Oh) Pretty Woman" (2:53)
7. "Dancing in the Street" (3:43)
8. "Little Guitars (intro)"--instrumental (0:42)
9. "Little Guitars" (3:47)
10. "Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)" (2:44)
11. "The Full Bug" (3:18)
12. "Happy Trails" (1:03)

"Pretty Woman" and "Dancing in the Street" (both covers, ironically) were the first two Van Halen songs that I liked immediately when I first heard them. It's no surprise, then, that I consider this the best album from the DLR era. "Big Bad Bill" is a fun acoustic tune which features Eddie Van Halen's father on clarinet! And who couldn't love the perfect album-closer, an a cappela rendition of "Happy Trails"?

"1984"

1. "1984"--instrumental (1:07)
2. "Jump" (4:04)
3. "Panama" (3:31)
4. "Top Jimmy" (2:59)
5. "Drop Dead Legs" (4:13)
6. "Hot for Teacher" (4:42)
7. "I'll Wait" (4:41)
8. "Girl Gone Bad" (4:33)
9. "House of Pain" (5:11)

This album was released on January 1st, 1984, and was the first of a seemingly endless series of 1984-themed albums we all had to suffer through that year... It's also the year that Van Halen took a sadistically POP turn! The keyboard-dominated "Jump", of course, became their infamous smash hit ("I'll Wait" is also keys-heavy, but I actually like that song); "Panama" (which has been covered by Pat Boone, believe it or not) rocks okay but was horribly overplayed; "Hot for Teacher" had a great video featuring the band as cute young schoolboy toughies bullying some ugly geek named Waldo, a concept which I LOVED at first but eventually got sick of because they played it so damn often! That's about it...the other songs I don't like at all. Oh, cool album cover, by the way.

"5150"

1. "Good Enough" (4:00)
2. "Why Can't This Be Love" (3:45)
3. "Get Up" (4:35)
4. "Dreams" (4:54)
5. "Summer Nights" (5:04)
6. "Best of Both Worlds" (4:49)
7. "Love Walks In" (5:09)
8. "'5150'" (5:44)
9. "Inside" (5:02)

Well, this was the start of the "Van Hagar" era -- Dave's wry sense of humor is gone, of course, but it's hardly missed! I loved every song on this album and I still do (well, okay, "Inside" is kinda stupid-sounding.)

"OU812"

1. "Mine All Mine" (5:11)
2. "When It's Love" (5:36)
3. "A.F.U. (Naturally Wired)" (4:28)
4. "Cabo Wabo" (7:03)
5. "Source of Infection" (3:58)
6. "Feels so Good" (4:27)
7. "Finish What Ya Started" (4:20)
8. "Black and Blue" (5:24)
9. "Sucker in a 3 Piece" (5:52)
10. "A Apolitical Blues" (3:50)

This was my "theme album" during the summer of 1988 when I worked beach security, and it still brings back fine memories of those pleasant days. For once, the radio-friendly songs I enjoy as much as the harder stuff!

"For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"

1. "Poundcake" (5:22)
2. "Judgement Day" (4:41)
3. "Spanked" (4:53)
4. "Runaround" (4:21)
5. "Pleasure Dome" (6:57)
6. "In 'N' Out" (6:05)
7. "Man on a Mission" (5:04)
8. "The Dream is Over" (4:00)
9. "Right Now" (5:21)
10. "316"--instrumental (1:29)
11. "Top of the World" (3:55)

I actually bought this hideous thing right after it came out, and sold the damn thing almost immediately...it's repurchase here is more to "fill in the gap" than anything else (and at $4.99, that's really not much more than what I sold it for...) Truly, the only redeeming feature of this CD is the acronym formed by the title! Ok, ok, "Poundcake" is a nice arena-rock number, in finest "Van Hagar" style, and I even like that "Right Now" diddy, though I'm reluctant to admit it...

(By the way...I get VERY annoyed at how many bands misspell the word "judgment". Check the dictionary: THERE IS NO "E" BETWEEN THE "G" AND THE "M", DAMMIT!! Wasn't anybody in the music industry paying attention during English class???)

"Right Here, Right Now" (live double CD)

Somebody, please, tell me WHY oh WHY so many bands follow up a totally crappy album with a live album?? Judas Priest did it after Turbo, Iron Maiden released THREE live albums after Fear of the Dark, even Rush followed up Hold Your Fire with a live offering. Even though live Van Halen is probably what everyone's been demanding since the beginning of time, this was absolutely the worst time to do it. For one thing, they play EVERY GODDAMN SONG from F.U.C.K., and although a couple do sound better live ("Judgement Day", "Pleasure Dome"), the rest are just corporate-rock bloat. They also should have chosen more rockers from 5150 and OU812 instead of just the sappy ballads. Only 4 songs taken from the DLR era, which is inevitable, I suppose, since Sammy really doesn't fit the style of those songs (he does pretty good on "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love", though.) And what's with their butchering of the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again"?? I really expected a lot more from them. Oh well, I wasn't even gonna spend money on this thing, except I found a copy that was only $7.99 and not in that annoying cardboard packaging. Which I guess is what it's worth, because if you trim down most of the fat, you'd end up with a pretty good single CD.

"Balance"

1. "The Seventh Seal" (5:18)
2. "Can't Stop Lovin' You" (4:07)
3. "Don't Tell Me (What Love Can Do)" (5:56)
4. "Amsterdam" (4:45)
5. "Big Fat Money" (3:57)
6. "Strung Out"--instrumental (1:28)
7. "Not Enough" (5:12)
8. "Aftershock" (5:28)
9. "Doin' Time"--instrumental (1:41)
10. "Baluchitherium"--instrumental (4:04)
11. "Take Me Back (Deja Vu)" (4:42)
12. "Feelin'" (6:34)

Well, at least this CD is better than F.U.C.K., but aside from "Seventh Seal" (and the instrumental "Baluchitherium", named after a giant prehistoric herbivore), I can't say much about it. None of the songs stick in my mind for more than a minute after hearing them, but at least it doesn't TOTALLY suck! The cover art was a clincher, though. :)

And the rest of the story...well, after doing a couple songs for the Twister soundtrack (which I copied to Digital Puppy #4), the brothers Van Halen kicked out Sammy for a short-lived reunion with David Lee Roth, solely to promote their new greatest hits album (I've considered buying it, but for only two songs, what's the point?? I had a CDR with those songs, and eventually stuck 'em on my Eponymous + More collection.) Then, of course, they booted out Dave, in exchange for perhaps the most annoying lead singer on Earth, Gary Cherone of Extreme. Dear GOD, what were they thinking?!? Needless to say, I don't have Van Halen 3 and I hope to God I never get it!!!

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